Sorry for the late posting everyone, I’ve been busy. The days just get away from me.
Before we get to the “highlights”, there’s something major to address. Chris has since changed the CB Network description to say that Irate Gamer is now retired. Basically saying “thank you for the 9 years, and the haters too”. No video, no explanation, just a lazy “it’s over, go away” channel description. … And I don’t buy it.
See, Chris recently posted another shilling video, for some crappy mobile game called “Best Fiends Forever” where you just tap the screen a lot. He mentions some event that will happen in February, but the text on screen says “event ends January 23rd”. Five days before he posted the video. Smoooooth.
Now what’s weird is that despite being “retired”, his posters are still up. You’d think if he was truly done, he would take those down since he only has them for “Irate Gamer”. Not only that but all his games are still there behind him. Put them in storage or sell them off. Chris has done this before, where he cries retirement but then comes back. Probably trying to pull “no don’t go we still love you”. He’s really bad at hiding it. Of course we don’t know for sure if fans want that since the latest video disabled comments and ratings. Pretty sure your sponsors don’t like that.
If you really really REALLY are done Chris, make a video. Explain why. Tell the fans the truth, they deserve it. Stop being a coward for once in your life.
Now then, here’s the “highlights” for the second half of January on Puppet Steve. Eight videos.
Minecraft Wild Animal Pack Action Figure Jazwares Set Unboxing - Puppet Steve
- Chris really should use a different puppet if he’s barely going to talk about Minecraft.
- Zombie Steve can’t pronounce “animal” properly. Saying “aminals”. How old is he again?
- “This all new animal wild pack brings us all new animals” I DIDN’T KNOW THAT!
- His idea of the sheep “dancing” is to push it up and down. Laaame.
- “Black fur” It’s called wool! How dumb are you?
- Not even the end of the video and we already have a Zombie Steve tries to eat a toy “joke”. Who finds this funny?
- He claims the ocelot is the same as last time. It’s not, the new one has darker spots. It’s noticeable in the side view. Are you color blind Chris?
- And another eating toys joke? God damn it
- “Hostile Woof”
- Ah yeah, great features like a tail and legs that barely move. What fun!
- Dumb bit where the wolf does tricks. Uggggh.
- Actually that’s a Mooshroom, not a “Mushroom Cow”. Chris continues to show how little he knows about Minecraft.
- Awful bit where ZS and Steve are action figures instead of puppets. What’s the point?
- “He has a tail with a butt! Heh heh, butt” …………. Are you 2? I know the age gets lower every time, but… my god.
- It snows… indoors. Because ZS turned down the thermostat. … No.
- See this is why he fails as a reviewer. Any other reviewer worth their salt would bring up how the head and legs barely move at all and doesn’t make for a good toy. Chris is too much of a whore to care.
Five Nights at Freddy's Series 3 McFarlane Toys Parts and Services Playset Construction set Fnaf
- Well the FNAF crap didn’t take long. At least it’s a short video.
- Wonder if he’s going to brag about being one of the top channels that covers McFarlane Toys’ FNAF sets.
- Oh what the fuck, this isn’t even about a toy he has. This is about a toy that’s coming out.
- How can you even compare sizes when you only have a picture?!
- Dumb false jump scare from ZS
- Dumb bits involving multiple Foxy’s and Freddy’s. For some reason one of the Foxy’s call the FIVE Freddy’s “losers” because Chris doesn’t know how words work.
- Do his fans care for previews? Seriously?
SING illumination Movie Exclusive Action Figures Unboxing Review 2016 Puppet Steve
- Oh yay, crap from Illumination. Burn the Minions. Yes I know this is different but still, burn the Minions.
- So apparently Chris went to Universal Studios Florida. Where are you getting the money? Not only for toys but trips to Florida with your family that consist of your wife (?) and her two kids? That’s not cheap! Was it more ghost shit?
- It’s an exclusive toy, and Steve outright explains what “exclusive” means. I’m sure even the five year olds watching already know what that means!
- Buster Moon is holding a $100k contract. Steve demands ZS to sing so they can win. … It’s not real!
- ZS does the lamest rendition of Ghostbusters ever. Sounds nothing like it, and I know Chris wasn’t try to avoid copyright since he uses the theme ALL THE DAMN TIME!
- “That was terrible” So was your impression Chris, that sounded nothing like Matthew McConaughey. Not alright alright alright
- “I have to give that one 3 Poop Emojis” … How do you do fellow kids!
- Pointless singing bit with Ash who is voiced by ScarJo but sounds nothing like her. Sounds more like a chipmunk than a porcupine.
- Another pointless singing bit with Meena who is voiced by Tori Kelly, though looking at the movie’s official soundtrack, she doesn’t sing Shake It Off like in this video. I get the feeling Chris didn’t bother to research.
- Ends on Johnny, a gorilla voiced by Taron Egerton from Kingsmen. Chris makes him sing like a woman. … DUMB!
Five Nights at Freddy's Fnaf VS. NewIsland Lego Police Unboxing review
- *looks at title* … What?
- We got some knock-off Lego that you can probably find at a dollar store. Why is this a video?
- Did Chris make these names up? They’re absolutely retarded. Penelope von Worcestershire Sauce? What the fuck?
- Oh and a Minecraft figure of Steve tries to “hit on her”. I think…
- These not-Lego vehicles look like crap
- Stupid stop-motion bit. … Is this the only reason this video was made? To have you “ride a motorcycle”?
- A police go-kart? What kind of crap is this?
- Then a zombie figure that’s meant to be Zombie Steve drives away with it.
- But then FNAF figures out of nowhere. Why? Because click bait and Chris knows these knock-off Lego would not make a popular video alone.
- And then a bunch of skits where the FNAF mascots steal vehicles. WHERE IS THE JOKE?! This is beyond retarded I mean wow.
- *slams head against wall* What was the point of this?!
MInecraft Mini Figures Playsets Series 1 Cave Biome Collection Playsets Unboxing Puppet Steve Show
- More stupid contests for FNAF garbage
- “Each one of these figures is super cute and cuddly” They’re plastic! Plastic is not cuddly! Do you even know what that word means?! They’re also waaaay too small.
- Looks at a playset called Mining Mountain “Let’s mine into this one. A HEH HEH” Steve’s laugh is starting to give me DSP vibes…
- “Grassy parts, mountain parts” Top notch reviewing!
- Ugh, dumb bit with spiders…
- “Check out this cool playset. It has lava, cool!” STOP SAYING COOL!
- “Arrows in my head” They aren’t in his head Chris.
- So he pushes the zombie mini-figure into lava, and adds custom fire to him. That seems like a lot of wasted effort Chris. Do you understand priorities?
- The third playset comes with a Creeper, which eventually results in Steve insulting them and getting blown up. Do Minecraft kids think getting blown up by a Creeper is a good joke EVERY TIME? Then again, I did see that awful Minecraft joke book where every punch line was either “he was blown up” or “what do you think happened”. Someone wrote that. I wonder if that’s where Chris got the inspiration for Minecraft “jokes”
- The final playset is called Waterfall Wonder and he says “I wonder what this one is about”. YOU’RE NOT FUNNY AND NOBODY ABOVE SEVEN LIKES YOU!
- The Alex figure reveals the waterfall … and the “Got an Item” jingle from Zelda plays. Good lord even here he can’t get his franchises right!
- “What is this, an episode of Indiana Jones or what?” Episode? Indiana Jones is a series of movies, they’re not episodes. Yeah there’s The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles but I don’t think that’s what he was going for.
PowerPuff Girls Laboratory Flip To Action Playset & Figures Packs Professor, Blossom Unboxing
- Oh no, toys from the awful reboot.
- Alex tackles Steve offscreen. Thank you.
- “Their girl’s toys” … I guess? I mean, the original show was enjoyed by everyone and I think that’s what they wanted with this reboot too. Then again, I don’t know what they wanted.
- When Alex points out there’s a toy box, Steve claims it looks like a toilet. Why does Steve keep bringing up toilets when Alex reviews stuff? It’s almost as bad as the AVGN and his toilet humor. Does Chris think that all girls hate toilet humor?
- Zombie Pigman? What?
- Steve thinks Utonium got Chemical X from Professor X of the X-Men. … He’s not that kind of professor Chris. Your jokes are not funny!
- Also his Utonium impression sucks.
- Why does Blossom come with a stuffed dinosaur? Must be something in the reboot.
- “Stuffed animal she has is a rubber ducky” Rubber duckys aren’t stuffed animals.
- ASDOFIlj;aedfijkasdlkjrtkl;aetj;klq34j; 6klkl;jst Sorry, there’s a retarded bit where Steve wants the PPG’s to work with Professor X to become the “X-Girls” so they can fight the X-Men. Afkkjladrtgsdfkl;kl;jsdfhjkl;se5gtk,kgkl’szegkl;sdfgkl;sdfgkl;arf
- “That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard” Tiny bit of respect gained back for Alex.
- Chris, making Steve annoying isn’t endearing, it’s painful.
Minecraft LEGO The Iron Golem Set 2017 Building Toy 21123 Unboxing Review Puppet Steve
- I still think Minecraft Lego is redundant.
- No Puppet Magic to put it together? Good, hopefully Chris realized that was idiotic.
- “We got grass, mountains” TOP NOTCH REVIEWING
- “Weird looking cave thing” What makes it weird?
- “Some flowers. SNIFF SNIFF” … Really? You couldn’t actually make the sound of sniffing? You had to outright say “sniff sniff”? How dumb do you think your audience is?
- Dumb bit involving a Snow Golem puppet. The Snow Golem is a thing in Minecraft.
- Steve is mad because the set doesn’t come with him. Not everything is about your stupid character Chris.
- “Lego bacon. A-heh-heh” No.
- The stop-motion seems lazier here than in previous videos.
LEGO Dimensions 1980's Gremlins, ET, A-Team, Mr. T, Harry Potter Themed Sets Unboxing Voldemort,
- Last video… and it’s Lego Dimensions. I can do this!
- Sets based on franchises from the 80’s. Wow, stuff that came LOOOOOOOONG before your target audience was born. Your stupid 80’s boner is showing Chris.
- Oh and Steve & ZS are wearing stupid 80’s glasses.
- “So many” … There’s four sets.
- “Gremlins? I remember that movie” Chris is probably stoned on “member berries” on a daily basis.
- Gizmo has old 3D glasses on his base, and Steve tries to see him in 3D. … Dumb. They’re there because Gizmo wore those in the movie.
- Gizmo comes with a cookie, causing Zombie Steve to eat him. Woooooow that totally isn’t ripping off a much better puppet show. God, you can not be original at all can you Chris?
- E.T. comes with a flower… SO THAT MEANS A PLANTS VS ZOMBIES REFERNCE HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR fuck you Chris.
- E.T. phones for pizza instead of home. … This feels like a rejected Family Guy bit.
- Next he looks at the A-Team set. “Oh man, gotta love that show” Your audience is five! They don’t know what that is!
- “Mr. T himself” No, that’s the character he played on The A-Team, B.A. Baracus. While there are occasional references to the actor, that’s meant to be the character in the show. In fact, there was a recent video posted to introduce Knight Rider into the game where KITT refers to him as “Mr. Baracus”.
- “Comes with the iconic A-Team bus” That’s a van you idiot! Way too small to be a bus! Also after he calls it iconic, he says “so iconic”. Stop with the redundancy.
- He’s looking at Harry Potter. Which didn’t come out the 80’s. He acknowledges it didn’t so why is he covering it? Also, Harry Potter came out in the 90’s with the first book out in 1997, the first movie wasn’t until 2001. Then again, this set is based on the movie so … I’ll let that part slide.
- You know, he could have waited until Knight Rider and The Goonies sets came out.
- He gave Harry Potter a high-pitched chipmunk voice. WHY?
- “The Harry Potter car” That’s Arthur Weasley’s flying car from Chamber of Secrets.
- Then a bit where Voldemort is run over by the Hogwarts Express
- “All the new Lego Dimensions sets” Nope. No Mission Impossible or Sonic the Hedgehog.
- Video ends with Zombie Steve donning Jason Vorhees’ hockey mask. No Chris, they’re not going to put Friday the 13th in Lego Dimensions, the idea is family friendly franchises. Friday the 13th is the opposite of family friendly.
That’s the rest of January. So far February will bring more TMNT, more Minecraft and more fucking FNAF.
Also it seems Chris has deleted all the Box Wars videos. I guess even he realized that was a terrible idea. So much useless crap.